You know you’ve lived in Bangkok for too long when…
1. Your whole day is ruined if the nearest 7-Eleven is temporarily closed for renovations or inventory.
2. You savour the few seconds of wind created by an approaching Skytrain.
3. You have a usual “motosai guy” who knows your schedule better than your friends and family.
4. You find it perfectly acceptable to eat an ice-cream sandwich made with the same bread used to feed fish and ducks.
5. You’ve developed a sixth sense that allows you to:
-Accurately determine who will be getting off at the Nana train stop.
6. You think spending more than B40 at a street stall is way too expensive.
7. You start suggesting karaoke as a “fun night out”.
8. You pat yourself on the back for being adventurous when you go somewhere that’s not in Sukhumvit or Silom.
9. You stop questioning why the nickname “Apple” is spelled as “Ple” and pronounced as “Pun”.
10. All your conversations revolve around stating the obvious, from discussing the weather, to how much traffic there is. And you enjoy complaining about these things over and over again.
11. You use napkins to wipe your plate and utensils at every restaurant you go to without realising it.
12. You only drive in the middle lane because you know the side lanes are reserved for taxis waiting for passengers/vendors pushing their street carts/people illegally parking to run out and buy something.
13. You don’t bat an eyelash when you see homeless people/kids selling garlands in the road/prostitutes.
14. You make sure to take numerous packs of instant noodles with you anytime you travel abroad.
15. You know a fried egg should be placed on top of every dish.
16. You accept that “Thai logic” consists of things like having an attendant hand you a ticket from an automatic machine and security guards letting everyone pass through the metal detector no matter how much it beeps.
17. You use the sound of a wailing siren from an ambulance, fire truck, or police car as an invitation to speed up, instead of pulling over in case there’s a real emergency.
18. You’ve finally mastered how to pronounce Boromratchonnanee Road.
19. Weekends don’t mean anything to you because you know there’s a party every night of the week. And you will attend every single one.
20. You could go on and on with this list, but then you realise it’s lunch time so you stop. Because nothing shows you’ve truly adapted to Bangkok life more than valuing mealtime over any other activity.
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